Time and time again, you cross my mind. You succeed in pulling me in, forcing me to care despite not even knowing your name. All I know is that you’ve been hurt, and you’re reading this right now. I don’t know where you are or the time in which you’ll find this, but I do know that this may be something you’ve needed. I guess I’ve become that for you, a provider of clarity and hope — someone who offers up enough information to wake you up. And to tell the truth, I have no idea what realization you’ll arrive at after reading these words.
There’s a time and place for everything, and maybe here is where you rediscover your strength. Perhaps it is here where you figure out whatever it is you need to move forward. You’ve suffered for far too long, year after year, finding yourself struggling through a relationship that was never worth it — fighting for a lover who refuses to love you properly — choosing someone who often overlooks you and rarely considers how their mistreatment of your heart will impact the rest of your life.
When I write, I consider you. I think about each word I write down and how it’ll affect you, the reader. My primary purpose for even picking up the pen has been to assist you in some way. I hope that whenever you read something I’ve written, whether it be here or in a book, you walk away feeling stronger or at least inspired to go after the peace you deserve. I want you to understand that you are more powerful than you know and fully capable of cultivating everything you need. I want you to remember your happiest days and how easier it was before allowing certain people into your life. When I write, I want you to see each word as a mirror reflecting strength and courage.
You have seen your fair share of heartache; you have been to hell and back and back again. I admire that about you, the way you find new means of survival no matter how difficult it gets. It takes a lot of courage to continue forward even when you feel stuck. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope something good happens to you and for you, but you must always remember that you can cultivate those good things on your own.
I want to leave you with a piece that is written in the next book,” she fits inside these words.” Maybe these words will speak to you:
There’s this battle going on within yourself. You are literally at
war with the person looking back at you in the mirror. On the one hand, you’re in love, and on the other, you hate the fact that you feel deeply for someone so shallow. You get to this place by believing
the words of a liar. Someone wearing a mask, someone pretending to be the person you’ve always dreamed of. And for some time, that person was capable of living up to your initial expectations of what love could be. Here you are, trying to process your feelings of love and betrayal all at once, confused at what you should do. Searching for excuses to stay when leaving would be the best choice. What’s fucked up about all of this is your struggle to see a future without this one person, who will destroy your life if you’re unwilling to let go. You keep telling yourself that things will change; you search for the good times amid the rubble. You try to stand firm upon all the good memories, but even those moments aren’t strong enough to support you. Each day harder than the last as you continue to run from your emotional truths, but the tears keep flowing, and your heart continues to drown. There’s no boat strong enough to resist sinking while drifting through waters of emotional uncertainty. But you keep trying, and you’ll try some more. Yes, you’ll try until you figure out a way to redirect your energy. You’ll continue to fight for that person until you realize that there is nothing to gain by going into battle with someone who isn’t concerned with being your ally. You’ll keep trying until you know that your love story cannot truly begin to be written until you move forward without the person you thought would love you.
