After a Year of Marriage, this is what I learned.

I remember the moment I decided that I was ready to propose to the woman who would later become my wife. I can recall having a real conversation with myself about what this would mean as far as the future goes and what I’d need to prepare for such a serious level of commitment. There were days where I made lists of things to do, things to check off like find the right ring or getting serious about budgeting, being more careful about the way I handled my finances. Being more mindful about my spending etc. I knew I wanted to ask for her hand in a special way. I knew she’d be happy with whatever I did but I actually wanted to make an effort. I also immediately began saving for the wedding because I knew that everything would fall on us. I went through a range of emotions and then the day came, I had the perfect plan and as you can tell, it went well.

I heard stories about what it would mean to plan a wedding and what marriage would feel like after the vows and “ I DO “ and now today…well tonight..or maybe today because it’s like 1 in the morning as I write this…after a year of being married, this is what I learned.

  1. Just talk about it, communicate. If something is bothering you, don’t let it linger. Be open and honest about it, tell your partner how you feel right away. This helps to avoid resentment and tension going forward. I believe that our first year as a married couple was successful because we actually communicated a lot, maybe more than we ever did previously before getting married. Sure, we’ve always talked to one another, we tell everything to one another but something about our communication seemed to be enhances early on within our marriage.
  2. Don’t expect anything from people who have nothing to contribute to your relationship and or marriage and if you find that certain people have a negative impact on your union with your beloved, keep your relationship away from them. For example, I originally thought I was gaining a family when I married my wife but it turns out that I could be possibly inheriting a mess that was already messy before I even stepped into the picture. A lot of disagreements and fights can often come from outside forces, especially family members and friends who are inconsiderate of the couple and I believe that it is best to keep things separate unless people can act accordingly. I’ve discovered that the peace in our lives increases whenever we spend more time together away from people who do nothing but drain us when they’e around.
  3. It’s important to choose your partner as much as you can. I make an effort every day to choose my wife, we choose each other. First because we actually enjoy, like and love one another. Second, we choose each other because love is about making one another feel important. Consider your partner always. When faced with a decision, ask yourself how that choice will affect your significant other. I’ve seen many relationships fail due to a lack of appreciate and care. I think a big red flag is being in a situation where you don’t feel appreciated and or respected. Being treated like you don’t matter is a sure way to resentment and heartache.
  4. You have to like the person you love. You have to enjoy their company as much as anything else. I believe that making time for one another is a sure sign of dedication and love.
  5. Being honest isn’t difficult when you do the right thing by your partner. I take pride in knowing that I can be transparent with my beloved without hurting her and the fact that being honest and transparent only makes our bridge to one another, a bit stronger.

You know what, I could go on and on, so many life lessons and so many things I continue to learn about my wife and marriage itself but one of the things I’ve held on to is the fact that early one, we made the choice to give one another an opportunity at love and we’ve continued to honor that each day. Respect and honor your relationship, if you both are capable of doing that then the love you share will continue to grow without limitations. Maybe I’ll share a second part to this. Thanks for reading.

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